Stepping Out:

a student's guide to education beyond the classroom

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Mary Koehler (with daughters Anneliese and Kate)

In the spring of her senior year in high school my daughter Kate said she wanted to go out for a cup of coffee. I could tell from her voice something was up. We had done the “college tours” and she didn’t seem thrilled with any of the choices. Over coffee, she told me she was thinking about taking time off….maybe a year before starting school. I felt a pit in my stomach as she spoke, but managed to remember that this was a chance for her to explore options and I had the opportunity to support her.

As Kate looked into taking a year off, I looked at what I needed to feel good about her trip and took time to discuss things with her dad. It was easy to let her focus on looking into what she might do, the cost and details. As things started to come together, there was plenty of time to look at my concerns. I realized I was worried about her traveling alone, getting back into school when she returned, and staying in touch while she was gone.

Kate decided to travel for seven months in Europe doing a variety of work camps, language school, and time on her own. She felt she wanted to do parts of the “stepping out” time by herself. She said it would be a stretch to do so and wanted that stretch. I realized how important it was for her to be able to spend time alone and this trip gave her that opportunity. We agreed on ways to stay in touch and I looked forward to her weekly calls. And off she went.

It was great to get her phone calls and emails. As we spoke on the phone I heard in Kate an increased calmness and confidence. She was always outgoing, and now she had the opportunity to connect with people from many different backgrounds and be at ease in ways she hadn’t experienced before. It was great to see her make a home in the many places she worked and visited. She seemed to spend more time just happy with herself. As with a lot of trips, there can be ups and downs, but I sensed on the phone those experiences were a time to grow and trust in herself.

She started college that next year, found a wonderful group of friends and seemed to make friends more easily because of her travels. She continues to be open to new adventures. She also seems to trust herself more and be willing to stop and reexamine things if they don’t feel right. I am grateful Kate had this year off school and was able to “step out.”