My daughter Irene began thinking she would like to take a year “off” after high school when she was a sophomore in high school. She knew she’d eventually go to college, but thought she’d do better if she’d had a little more time to explore life and think about what she wanted to get out of it. She decided to volunteer in the Dominican Republic the summer after high school, return home to work in the fall and winter, and then travel in Europe for the spring with a friend.  This plan made a lot of sense to her father and me and we have been in complete support of her taking time off school since she first suggested it. 

It’s now mid-April, and Irene is one month into that four month adventure in Europe. We hear from her once a week or so – very brief emails or an occasional phone call. She and her friend traveled in Italy and Spain and are soon heading to Turkey and then on to Romania where they’ll be volunteering in programs through Volunteers for Peace (first two weeks doing an agricultural project in Turkey and then two weeks helping at the Transylvania International Film Festival).

Friends ask, am I nervous? And the answer is, yes, of course – sort of. I have absolutely no control over where my 18-year-old is right now, or over what she’s doing, and that is a little worrying sometimes. But the reality is that would be equally true were she in college.  Over the past year I have watched her develop amazing self-knowledge, self-confidence and maturity. I am sure that she is much more prepared to make the most of wherever she is – and do so safely and responsibly – than she would have been even just a year ago.

She has a much better understanding of money, for one thing. We and her grandfather helped a little with money and air miles, but Irene earned nearly all of the money she will spend along the way. As I’ve talked to her over the past weeks I’ve been struck by how careful she’s being about getting value for her money. It took her a lot of work to make this possible, and she’s not going to waste her resources.

She’s also really excited about college now, and has a good sense of why she wants to go and what kind of environment she believes she’ll thrive in. She had considered going to college at the European campus of an American university, for example, but when I talked to her the other day she said, “Mom! I could never go to school in Madrid! I love this city and want to live here some day, but there are far too many distractions for me to try to study here!” Instead, she is heading for a small, rural liberal arts college.

And one seemingly small – but in the long run, huge – benefit of this gap year is that Irene has gotten healthy. With honors classes, school leadership activities, volunteer training and fundraising responsibilities, Irene seemed to pick up every little virus that came her way and then simply never had time to recover.  It’s been wonderful to watch her achieve more balance this past year.

Would I encourage other students to take time between high school and college – or in college? Yes, absolutely. My experience as a mother of two children who chose to do so (my 21-year-old son also took this year off college so he could travel in India for four months) has been awesome. I’m jealous a lot of the time, but that’s more than balanced by the pure pleasure of watching these wonderful adults emerge, and the confidence that they are developing skills that will make life – including college – much more meaningful and rewarding.