Stepping Out 

  a student's guide to education beyond the classroom
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Below are some concerns and frequently asked questions people have about taking time off of school.  For more questions and answers, also check out the how section.  

What if I don’t go back to school?
Will I be safe?
What if I run out of money?
Should I go by myself or with someone else?
What if I don’t like my job/organization/choice?
I’m a little worried about having all this unstructured time…how do I deal with it?
 

What if I don’t go back to school?

This is a common fear.  It is also a myth associated with stepping out, especially when students take a year off after high school.  However, most students who deliberately take time off go back to school.  Joanna Lazarek, who works for The Center for Interim Program, says that only a very small percentage of their clients do not return to school.  Furthermore, both Interim Program, and Taking Off (who organize gap year experiences for students) say that students are more ready for college by the time they actually go.  
 
Often, students become burnt out on school.  A break from school can give you the focus and energy to be ready for school again.

Gail Reardon, founder of Taking Off, explains it like this: "The push in the US is to go to college or to get a job.  Somehow taking time out of that process is seen as a choice against college.  Every single student I've ever worked with has gone on to higher education.  Whether they originally planned to or not."

On the other side of this is the idea that college is not the be all, end all.  Maybe you will never go back to school, or maybe you will not go back until you are ready to, even if it is ten years down the road.  There are plenty of successful people (like Bill Gates or Michael Dell) who never graduated from college.

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Will I Be Safe?
   
Your safety can never be guaranteed.   This is true both in the U.S. and abroad, in college and stepping out. There is probably more fear associated with stepping out because we are often more afraid of the unknown, and taking time off school is a lot more unknown than going to school.  
   
That being said, there are some things you can do to help ensure your safety.  Below are some tips:
  • If you are going abroad, learn about the political situation in the country before you go.  Is it stable?  Also, make a plan with your parents or someone else about what you will do if the area you are in suddenly becomes unsafe due to political unrest or some other threat.  It would be a good idea to know the contact information for the US embassy in the country you are visiting.
  • Decide what you will do if you need medical attention.  Do you have health insurance?  Are you still covered outside the U.S.?  What should you do if you need a prescription refilled?
  • If you are worried, consider going with a well-established program.  There are many programs available that include guides and/or local contacts who are watching over you.   They can also help you out if you need medical attention.  The disadvantage of these programs is they cost more money.  However, if they make you feel more comfortable, than go with one of them!
  • Use your common sense.  This applies just as much in college as it does trekking through Korea.  In either place you are putting yourself in danger if you do something like go home with someone you meet at the bar.  Realize that this is an even worse idea when you are in a foreign place where you do not have friends or others keeping tabs on you. 
  • Make sure someone back at home knows your itinerary.  This gives you peace of mind more than anything else.  Leave your tentative schedule with someone at home (parents or a friend).  Make plans to check in with them every so often so that if something bad does happen at least someone knows where you are.  It can be slightly unnerving to realize that nobody knows where you are or what you are doing.  (This happened to me in Germany at age 18.  My parents knew I was in Europe but did not know which country.  I arrived late at night in Berlin and was walking to find a hostel when it dawned on me that if something bad did happen, nobody important in my life would even know what country I was in.)
  • Consider traveling with someone else.  This is like the "buddy system" from elementary school, a way for someone to watch over you and vice-versa.  It can also be reassuring to know that if something difficult does happen, you won't be going through it alone.  Traveling with someone else may make you feel more comfortable, especially if you are not doing any group programs.
  • Do what is right for you.  If you are worried about being on your own, find a program that takes ten participants somewhere.  Do not feel as if you have to do the most extreme thing possible; it is okay to spend the year working in your hometown.  It is good to get near the edge of your comfort zone, but you do not need to spend your time off living in fear.  Don't be ashamed to return home or ask for help.  Find the level of travel, unstructured time, responsibility, and political stability that you are comfortable with in order to better decide what it is you want to do.
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What if I run out of money?
   
So you are living in New York City, or hiking through New Zealand, and you run out of money.  Now what?  Ideally, you have a budget to begin with, so that you don’t end up running out of money.  But, if this happens,, there a number of different things you can do.  Do you  have a credit card?  Although not recommended, you can always use that and worry about the bills later.  Or maybe you need to change your plans and head home sooner than expected.  Or maybe you’re lucky enough and Mom or Dad or Grandma will loan you the money. 
   
To avoid this situation in the first place, consider the following:   
  • Buy a plane ticket that has a very low date-change fee.  That way, if you are running low on money, you can return home earlier.  And the opposite is true too: you have the flexibility to stay longer with a cheap change fee.  Check out your local Student Travel Association (STA) or other student travel agency for such plane tickets, many of them offer tickets with only a $25 change fee.
  • Keep track of how much you’re spending.  If you have a journal or somewhere you can write down your costs, you should know ahead of time if you are running low on money.  If that's the case, figure out how you can spend less or what it is you'll have to do in order to not run out.  Basically you do not want to be blindsided with no money.  Keeping track guarantees that you are at least aware of how much money you are spending. 
  • Get creative.  There are many small ways in which you can save money when traveling or living somewhere.  When I was 18 and traveling through Europe I met a girl from Quebec named Sarah.  We ended up traveling together for a few weeks and spend hardly any money.  We choose to walk around cities instead of pay to go to museums, would spend a couple of hours in the grocery stores looking for the cheapest food (and ended up buying many dented canned foods because they were discounted) and would choose to walk any distance less than a couple of miles.  It became sort of a game -figuring out all the ways in which we could save money- and ended up being both fun and beneficial.  Also, see if there is a way for you to get free lodging.  Do you have a friend of a friend where you are going?  Ask around the town you are staying in; maybe somebody has an extra room to exchange for English lessons.  Make saving money a game and have fun with it.
  • Plan ahead.  Try to put together a budget before you go.  Always assume the most expensive price; that way the worst thing that could happen to you is that you go home with extra money.  Have an idea of how much you are able to spend and how you plan to stay within your budget.                                 
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Should I go by myself or with someone else?
      
This really depends on what you are doing, for how long, and your own comfort level.  If you are planning to work, volunteer, or travel with an organization, check to see if there are other participants.  If so, chances are many of them are in a situation to yours  (by themselves in a new place), in which case it may be less scary to be on your own. This really depends on what you are hoping to get out of your experience and situation.  Do you know someone who could travel with you?  What would you gain and lose having someone you know with you?   Are you potentially putting yourself in a dangerous situation going somewhere alone?    These are some things to consider when deciding what and with whom to do something.  Here are the advantages and disadvantages of some different options:
  • Going Solo:  Stepping out on your own can be a very reflective experience, where you gain in maturity, responsibility, and self-confidence.  It can also be frightening, trying, exhausting, and difficult.  Going places on your own gives you the freedom to call all the shots, because no one is there to hold your hand.  This can be both exhilarating and terrifying.  I would say the bottom line is your experience is intensified.
  • Heading out with a friend:  Having someone you know with you is a great safety net (think back to the buddy system of elementary school).  It also means that you can share your adventures, frustrations, and experience with someone who is a part of your everyday life.  However, because it is "easier" than traveling alone, you may lose out on some of the added challenges, the ability to do exactly what you want, and the responsibility for making all your own decisions that come with trying something alone.
  • Taking off with a significant other: This is iffy business.  While it may end up being an amazing experience, strengthening your relationship by sharing a lot of fun, exasperations, and memories, it could also turn out disastrous.  Before going somewhere with a significant other, make sure you have discussed things like your expectations, what you plan to do if the status of your relationship changes, and other issues that may come up.  It would be a good idea to do a mini-version of whatever it is you plan together (i.e. if it is volunteer somewhere, volunteer for a weekend in town first; if it is travel, take a similar short trip before you take off).  
Note on stepping out with a significant other:  I think it is important to decide ahead of time what your trip/experience is more about: is it to strengthen your own relationship?  Is it about the outward experience?  Is it an even balance of the two?  Otherwise, you may run into a situation where you were hoping to learn a lot about a new culture, but instead you spent the time learning about the inner workings of your relationship.

The bottom line is that you must choose for yourself.  Think through what is comfortable for you.  Also, consider a "combo" option; maybe you have a friend that can spend two weeks with you in Mexico as you adjust, and then you can spend the rest of the time on your own.  Realize that what you feel comfortable with may change.  Many students may start off by wanting to go abroad, for example, with a group of other American students.  However, after a few months spent living on your own and learning a language, you may prefer the total immersion and independence that comes from being on your own.  Be open to pushing your comfort zone, and be open to the fact that you may suddenly realize that your notion of comfort has expanded. 

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What if I don’t like my job/organization/choice?
   
Remember you can always stop, modify, or revolutionize what it is you are doing.  However, it is a good idea to have a back-up plan in case things do not work out.

Also, do not be afraid to create change.  If you are unsatisfied with certain aspects of your work or program, think about how you can thoughtfully and maturely talk to your supervisor in order to make things better.  Be assertive.

Consider sticking things out.  Sometimes we learn the most when things are difficult.  Clarice Wilsey, Associate Director of the University of Oregon Career Center, explains how even "bad" experiences are valuable:
I believe strongly that a person benefits greatly from even a "bad" experience.  Of course, everyone has a different definition of what "bad" is.   However they define it, they can assess the situation to determine what they could/should/have done differently to perhaps have a different outcome.  They can learn new skills or have strengthened skills that helped them through that situation.  They can talk to a potential employer about how they would not make the same "mistake" again.  Sometimes we learn more from the difficult than from the easy.  

Most employers want to know what a person has learned from past mistakes, failures and problems, and what they would do differently the next time around.  I like to call it... Making lemonade out of a lemon.  The important thing is not to view the situation as unredeemable, a failure, or a waste of time.  Your time is always valuable.  It's easy to say... I screwed up, I failed and to then feel bad about it.  Instead, think of it as: How can this be the beginning of a new learning for my future?
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 I’m a little worried about having all this unstructured time….how do I deal with it?
   
After spending twelve or more years in school it can be slightly unnerving to suddenly be in a situation where you are not listening to lectures, doing reading assignments, writing essays, researching, or engaging in class discussions.  That being said, depending on what you choose to do with your time it may be very structured- just in a new format.  You may have to be at work at a certain time, or be responsible for planning events or catching trains.

The exciting thing about stepping out is that it gives you a chance to shape your own learning experiences. Here are some tips for dealing with this new form of education:
  • Realize that you have to be self-motivated and take initiative.  Maybe you are interning with a marketing company and are frustrated because your main job is being a gopher; you are not responsible for anything else.  Take action and talk to a supervisor, explaining that you would like more responsibility or a project for you to work on.  Or, on the flipside, if you are overwhelmed with what is going on, do not be afraid to talk to your supervisor, expressing your concerns and together taking the steps necessary to resolve this difficulty.
  • If you are still worried, consider doing something more structured.   There are a lot of programs, jobs, and travel opportunities that offer structured experiences.  Some of these cost more money but are probably worth it if it makes you feel more at ease. 
  • Take time to reflect.  This is key in making the most out of your experience.  Ask yourself: what do I hope to gain from this?  How can I learn new skills?  Also, the ability to reflect means that you can later on articulate to others (like future employers) what you gained from your experiences.  
  • It's okay to quit.  Maybe not everyone believes this, but go with your gut feeling.  There's no reason to be absolutely miserable if you do not have to be.  
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